Quotes & Quips
Season 1
**quotes shown may include spoilers for that episode**
Details at Eleven
"You make me mad!" - Connie
"I don't blame you. I make me mad, too." - Rick
(Regarding Rick and AJ) "Sweetheart, they take you seriously because there's just one thing they want from you." - Myron
Janet, fondly - "Yes, I know. Aren't they cute?"
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm really your brother." - AJ
"Well, according to Mom, you're not." - Rick
Trapdoors
"You know anything about computers?" - AJ
"I know they don't like me every time I try to cash a check." - Rick
"You might try putting some money in your account." - AJ
"You're supposed to??" - Rick
"Where'd you get the badge?" - Rick
"Dime store." - AJ
"Is there any more gravy, Mom?" - Rick
"Do you still remember the way to the kitchen?" - Cecilia
"Don't bother getting up, Mom. We'll do the dishes tonight." - AJ
"We will??" - Rick
"Take your hat off when you kiss a lady." - Cecilia, to Rick
Recipe for Disaster
"AHHHH!" - a frustrated AJ, to Rick
(Rick, Janet, Myron and Marlowe in Peerless Investigations)
"What's that mutt doing in here?" - Myron
Janet, petting Marlowe - "Oh, I'm keeping him while they go to Mexico."
"I wasn't talking about the dog." - Myron
"Rick?" - Myron
"Yeah?" - Rick
"Drink the water." - Myron
Cecilia, to AJ - "And stay away from -"
"I know, I know, water and tequila." - AJ
"- and things that go bump in the night." - Cecilia, with a piercing look
"MoOOom!" - AJ, scandalized
(Referring to Rick) "He's not my uncle!" - Irene
"Thank god!!" - Rick
(As Irene sings with gusto) "Convincing argument for Planned Parenthood, isn't it?" - Rick
"Maybe she'd be more comfortable in the trunk..." - Rick
The Dead Letter File
"You know, you are amazing, Janet. Why don't you come work for us?" - AJ
"Because I like getting paid when I work." - Janet
The Hottest Ticket in Town
"What's wrong?" - Rick
"Last time I saw that look in your eye, I got twenty stitches and you were in jail for a week." - AJ
"Well, this time it's gonna be different." - Rick
"You'll get the stitches, I'll be in jail." - AJ
Uncivil Servant
"Are you sure it was an honorable discharge?" - AJ
"Barely." - Rick
Double Entry
"Got anything good there?" - Rick, to brunette selling sandwiches
"Everything I got is good." - brunette
"Yeah, but whaddya have in the basket?" - Rick
"Surfer's unite!" - Son of the Beach to the Simons
"Surf's up!...I.Q.s are down." - Rick
Next Season| Back to main Quotes page
|