A.W.O.L.
"I hate these little hats." - Rick
AJ - "They keep the paint out of your hair." Rick does a slow burn as AJ notices his brother's thinning hair.. "Sorry."
"I can read for myself! - Rick
"Could have fooled me." - AJ
The Cop Who Came to Dinner
"Town, this smells just delicious, but I really am worried about my ulcer." - AJ
"What ulcer?" - Town
"The ulcer I'm going to have if I eat this." - AJ
The Last Big Break
"If you liked it so much, why did you stop surfing?" - Rick
"I don't know. I guess I wanted to grow up, get serious. Something you wouldn't understand." - AJ
"Tried it once. It's overrated." - Rick
(about AJ) "I sometimes wonder where his mind goes on these little trips." - Rick
"Manning didn't kill Winters." - Rick
(as though reading headline) "Psychic lives on houseboat with big dog. Brother perfectly normal." - AJ
"Is this casual enough?" - AJ
"Nothing you own is casual enough." - Rick
The Rookie
(about Rick) "You'll have to excuse him, officer. What we laughingly refer to as his mind got left somewhere back in the stone age." - AJ
The rookie, describing her partner - "He has the sensivity of a jackhammer."
"Probably why he gets along with my brother so well." - AJ
The Case of Don Diablo
"Where did you learn to drive, Leisure World?" - Rick
"Keep bugging me, I can drive slower" - AJ
"Don't tell me you don't feel it." - Rick
"I don't feel it." - AJ
"T told you not to tell me that!" - Rick
"Rick! Stay! Sit!" - AJ
AJ, upon seeing his slashed tire and assuming Rick did it - "Rick, this is low!"
"No, that's flat." - Rick
Just Because I'm Paranoid
"For the past two weeks, I've had two men watching me." - Jennifer Tucker
"I don't blame them." - Rick
"(She's) half a bubble off plumb." - Rick, describing Jennifer
"I think your body fat percentage is a little too high." - Lars, about AJ
"He's got legs like tree trunks, he can handle a lot of excess body fat." - Rick
"Don't help me, all right?" - AJ
"It's the '88 Olympics. The Russkies have sneaked in a Super Woman, Svetlana...You're America's only hope." - Rick, driving alongside the running AJ
"Get away from me! I'm defecting to Iceland!" - AJ
Tonsillitis
"Would you use your head for something besides a hat rack!" - AJ, to Rick
Deep Water Death
"If you find my better judgment around here, will you bring it with you Tuesday? I seem to have lost it." - Town
Tanner, PI for Hire
"That's disgusting, Diane. That's absolutely sick. You got any dinner plans?" - Rick
Diane, looking for Tanner - "As long as I'm here, I might as well say 'hi' to the sexiest PI in America."
"Hi, Diane." - Rick and AJ in unison
Ancient Echoes
"What're you doing to our mother?!" - Rick
"Shhh. He's realigning her spine." - AJ
"I'll realign his spine!" - Rick
"What do we do now?" - Rick
"Very simple. We get caught." - AJ
"You've had better plans." - Rick
Second-Story Simons
"Mom, is that you?" - AJ
"Well, of course, it's me, honey. Who else has a key to your house?" - Cecilia
"Uhhhhh....let's not go into that right now." - AJ
"Mother, that guy's on the society column every week with a different woman. He's a womanizer!" - AJ
"Have fun, Mom." - Rick
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" - Rick
"No comment." - AJ
FBI Agent, to Rick - "Don't play dumb with me."
"He's not playing." - AJ
Lost Lady
"House is secure. I did manage to chase away a band of bloodthirsty burglars." - Rick
"Using your face, no doubt." - AJ
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