Quips & Quotes:

Season 6


"I hate these  little hats." - Rick

AJ - "They keep the  paint out of your hair." Rick does a slow burn as AJ  notices his brother's thinning hair.. "Sorry."

"I can read for myself! - Rick

"Could have fooled me." - AJ

The Cop  Who Came to Dinner

"Town, this smells just  delicious, but I really am worried about my ulcer." -  AJ

"What ulcer?" - Town

"The ulcer I'm going to have if I eat this." - AJ

The Last Big Break

"If you liked it so much, why  did you stop surfing?" - Rick

"I don't know. I guess I wanted to grow up, get serious. Something you wouldn't understand." - AJ

"Tried it once. It's overrated." - Rick

(about AJ) "I sometimes wonder where his mind  goes on these little trips." - Rick

"Manning didn't kill Winters." - Rick

(as though reading headline) "Psychic lives  on houseboat with big dog. Brother perfectly normal." - AJ

"Is this casual enough?" - AJ

"Nothing you own is casual enough." - Rick

The  Rookie

(about Rick) "You'll have to excuse him, officer. What we laughingly refer to as his mind got left  somewhere back in the stone age." -  AJ

The rookie,  describing her partner - "He has the sensivity of a jackhammer."

"Probably why he gets along with my brother so well." -  AJ

The  Case of Don Diablo

"Where did you learn to drive, Leisure World?" - Rick

"Keep bugging me, I can drive  slower" - AJ

"Don't tell me you don't feel  it." - Rick

"I don't feel it." - AJ

"T told you not to tell me that!" - Rick

"Rick! Stay! Sit!" - AJ

AJ, upon seeing his slashed  tire and assuming Rick did it - "Rick, this is low!"

"No, that's flat." - Rick

Just Because I'm Paranoid

"For the past two weeks, I've  had two men watching me." - Jennifer Tucker

"I don't blame them." - Rick

"(She's) half a bubble off plumb." - Rick, describing Jennifer

"I think your body fat percentage is a little too high." - Lars, about  AJ

"He's got legs like tree trunks, he can handle a lot of excess body fat." -  Rick

"Don't help me, all  right?" - AJ

"It's the '88 Olympics. The  Russkies have sneaked in a Super Woman, Svetlana...You're America's only hope." - Rick, driving alongside the running  AJ

"Get away from me! I'm defecting to Iceland!" - AJ


"Would you use your head for something besides a hat rack!" - AJ, to Rick

Deep Water Death

"If you find my better judgment around here, will you bring it with you Tuesday? I seem to have  lost it." - Town

Tanner,  PI for Hire

"That's disgusting, Diane. That's absolutely sick. You got any dinner plans?" - Rick

Diane, looking for Tanner - "As long as I'm here, I  might as well say 'hi' to the sexiest PI in America."

"Hi, Diane." - Rick and AJ in unison

Ancient  Echoes

"What're you doing to our  mother?!" - Rick

"Shhh. He's realigning her spine." - AJ

"I'll realign his spine!" - Rick

"What do we do now?" - Rick

"Very simple. We get caught." - AJ

"You've had better plans." - Rick

Second-Story Simons

"Mom, is that you?" - AJ

"Well, of course, it's me, honey. Who else has a key to your house?" -  Cecilia

"Uhhhhh....let's not go into that right now." - AJ

"Mother, that guy's on the society column every week with a different woman. He's a womanizer!" - AJ

"Have fun, Mom." - Rick

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" - Rick

"No comment." - AJ

FBI Agent, to Rick - "Don't play dumb with  me."

"He's not playing." - AJ

Lost Lady

"House is secure. I did manage to chase away a band of bloodthirsty burglars." - Rick

"Using your face, no doubt." - AJ

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